First Trip Out of the House

Blowing bubbles in his sleep.

Today we made our first adventure out of the house. It was amazing how long it took us to get ready. How can one little person need so much? We went to my parent's house because my Dad fixed some things on our car. THANKS DAD! The check engine light had come on Monday on the way to my appointment before all the craziness happened and we didn't want anything to happen driving around with such precious cargo. I am so tired I don't remember what all he did but it drives so much smoother now and even the AC seems colder.

I'm still pumping away and I feel a little like a milk factory sometimes. I am happy that it is starting to come in and I can now give Lucas my antibodies instead of relying on formula (which smells so bad!) I keep trying to get Lucas to latch on and he does sometimes and he falls asleep and when he gets frustrated it is because his nose is still all congested. He makes the CUTEST little snorting sounds though. Tomorrow is his home visit where someone from the birth center will come and give him a checkup so we will see what they say. Other then his poor little nose he is doing great and I think that will be the last hurdle to getting him to nurse.

Tomorrow Curt goes back to work and I am a mix of emotions over that. He could call in and his boss would understand but he would just have to go in Tuesday, so why not get it over with. He is such a good Dad I know he won't want to go to work. He has been so amazing through all of this. He helps out when I ask and usually has already got it done before I can even think to ask. This morning he was up packing Lucas' diaper bag and telling him that he was going to his Grandparents' house and we weren't going to be leaving for several more hours. He is so cute when he holds him and every time he says "Hi! I'm your Dad!" Curt is also a great diaper changer and even cleaned his snotty nose. (which is a BIG thing because before Curt has always avoided babies and their various bodily fluids). I've fallen in love with him in a whole different way. He is a great Dad! I'm going to miss seeing them together so much but I am excited to get him all to myself. As I have been recovering from everything and always hooked up pumping Curt has taken care of him for a good chunk of the time.

Everyone else has been great also. Both sides of our families are just going out of their way to half us in anyway they can. I don't know what we would do without them. They've done so much that I can't thank them each individually but please know I appreciate it.

I keep saying to myself "Wow! I am a Mom!" It just doesn't seem real. I feel like I am on drugs and in this constant fuzzy state, I think it is called sleep deprivation. I know that I'm supposed to try to sleep when he sleeps, but it is so hard to close my eyes when I just want to watch him every second. It is so funny how you can love someone so much instantly.

Lucas has also given me a greater appreciation of my own mom. I've always loved both my parents but I have been a bit of a Daddy's girl because we are so similar and sometimes my Mom and I butt heads. Plus I think becoming a mom and seeing how much hard work it is (and yes it is worth it) I just realize how much she must have gone through to have me. I was a little worried at first that she might drive me crazy during labor only because she is a Registered Nurse on the labor and delivery floor. I was so glad she was there through it all though! It was cool to have her take heart tones of Lucas while I was in labor and it was a relief to have her there because I know when I yelled at her she would forgive me later and understand it was because I was in labor. Also she stayed with us Monday until I after I delivered Lucas Wednesday morning, then she put on scrubs and was on shift to take care of other Moms and babies. She also got called in on Thursday and had to work Friday. Even though she was exhausted and working 12 hour shifts she always found the time to pop in and check on us. Even the day we left the hospital she ran down the hall and caught us and had just enough time to give me a kiss on the cheek and wish us well before she was back to work.