More ups than downs

Today was a better day

Lucas ended up sleeping for 6 hours! WOW! Of course since I am used to him waking up at 10PM every night when he hit his own snooze button I was wide awake and couldn't take advantage of the full 6 hours. I went to sleep about 12:30ish and woke up at 4:00 to pee. I think if I didn't have to get up he would have kept on sleeping. I fed him for an hour and then we went back to sleep.

Curt came woke me up at 6:40 to ask if I wanted him to stay home with me so I could get some sleep. I did, so he did. Lucas woke up again at 7:00 and from then on would wake up either every hour and nurse for about 10 minutes before he would fall back asleep. When he would wake up Curt would scoop him up and change him then deliver him to me so eat. He would also bring me ice water and slices of apple.

A little after 7 Curt's sister Angela called to see if she could come over and cook breakfast and hang out. If it was me home alone I would have ignored the calls (only because yesterday was such a rough day) Since Curt answered though he told her sure come over. So instead of me napping I was up picking things up and trying to pretend the I have been keeping the house neater then I have. Curt did help with whatever I asked him to do while I kept reminding him that Angela was also bringing her 3 and 1 year old kids.... So I stuck most of anything that belonged to Lucas in his nursery and closed the baby gate so he wouldn't get any germs his cousins may have. (I just can't deal with him being sick).

It ended up not being as bad as I thought and I was actually secretly glad someone was coming over to motivate me to neaten up a little. It is amazing how quickly I can clean up with company coming, but if I have all day nothing seems to get done. Jadie was the happiest about Kaliegh and Hunter coming over because she got to clean up the scrambled eggs and bacon they dropped on the floor. It was nice to have a hot breakfast I didn't have to cook and very sweet of Angela to drive all the way across town to do so. They stayed maybe two hours after which I went to sleep and Curt and I continued the tag team effort.

After they left Lucas started to nurse about every 2 hours for at least 30 minutes and as the day has gone on he has nursed for longer and slept for longer. It was nice to get some sleep also but now I don't know what to expect. Until last week he was on his own little schedule. He would sleep between 7-10 PM (and I would nap with him part of that time). Then he would go back to sleep about 12, wake up at 3ish, then either at 6 or 7. So basically every 3 hours or so. He would even sleep so I could make dinner and usually woke up as I was finishing eating. Now it is a surprise. I can handle it though because he is sleeping!!!

For most of the day I was glad Curt was home. I was able to run to the grocery store (for the last couple of days we haven't had much in the fridge). I kept letting people that had fewer groceries than me go ahead of me. When they would ask "Are you sure?" I would explain, "My kid is at home and this is my first real break out of the house alone in a few days." When I got home Lucas was crying and ready to eat and things started to go south. (Part of the reason I think because Curt gets stressed out when Lucas cries and he can't seem to get him to stop if I am not home).

I fed him and started to make dinner. While I was draining noodles to make a pasta salad boiling hot water splashed up on my left hand and burned it pretty badly. (It is just now starting to feel better). Then for whatever reason Curt and I got in a fight (I'm not going to go into over what because I don't think its fair to badmouth him here since there are two sides to every story and both of us were tired and hungry, and I don't really remember what it started over, plus I know things will be fine later). I will say though he went to bed with me not talking to him even though he was trying to make peace.

I just wasn't ready to stop being angry even though it wasn't all his fault we were fighting. I am usually the one that stays mad longer and he is usually the first one over it. I am also the one that gets mad the most in the first place. This was the first time though we've really yelled in front of Lucas and it made me feel horrible. He didn't seem to be that upset by me yelling... as horrible as it sounds maybe he got used to it in the womb. I just home we don't make fighting in front of him a habit. Growing up I can't remember a single time that my parents yelled in front of me and I never heard them call each other names. We knew they were fighting or upset with each other or whatever, they just didn't have it out in front of us.

Even though that all happened that was just a small part of the day so I don't want it to seem like the bad outweighed the good. I am just glad my baby is back to sleeping and smiling and tomorrow it will just be the two of us again at home.