Sometimes being a Mom is a Crappy Job

I don't know what Lucas' deal has been lately but he has started to play with the poop in his diaper. Originally I took it as a sign that he was ready to potty train and started taking him to the potty a lot and asking him over and over "do you need to go pee pee or poo poo?" He always says "yes" and sits on the potty and laughs and giggles but never actually goes.

This afternoon I was straightening up my bedroom and Lucas was playing in another room when he walks in my room with no diaper and a big smile on his face. He also had a brown smear on his belly and proudly announced "I pooped!" He was also doing a strange thing with his mouth and I think he might have tasted his poop fingers... GROSS I know! (Hey, if I had to see it you have to at least hear about it!) I instantly threw him in a bath and went to retrieve the diaper in his room. He had neatly set it on his changing table.

After nap time I decided to see if Lucas would want to wear "big boy underwear" thinking that might help him realize that he had to go quicker than a diaper. I gave him a choice between putting on a diaper or putting on a pair of buzz light year undies. He chose the undies and proudly pranced around the house in them. I ended up giving him this little Buzz light year car I had bought a few weeks ago as a prize for wearing big boy pants. Again I took him back and forth to the bathroom but without any luck. Not even five minutes after our latest trip to the bathroom I notice he is walking funny like he is trying to walk with his legs as far away from his body as he could. Turns out he had an accident in his underwear and the wetness was bothering him.

Since I was getting ready to start dinner I put him back in a diaper. After dinner I was getting cleaned up and Lucas was playing in his bedroom. When I was finished cleaning I realized Lucas had been quiet in his room for an awfully long time. I walked in and he ran past me naked as the day he was born wearing a pirate eyepatch and saying "ARRGGHH I'm a pirate." When I went in his room trying to find his diaper I found it totally dry and clean over in the corner but as I turned around I noticed poop EVERYWHERE. It was on the carpet, it was on his changing table, there were even poop hand prints on the back of the door. In the middle of everything was Lucas new Buzz Lightyear car with poop covering it and all over the wheels. I think someone made a poop road to drive his car through.

Curt took Lucas to the bathroom to clean him off and I was the "lucky" one that got to play "find all the places where the poop is," just in case you were wondering... NOT FUN! I still feel nauseous and this all happened hours ago. I think I cleaned everything up but I can still smell poop in there and I still have to go and steam clean the carpet tomorrow to get the little bit of poop stain that I couldn't scrub out by hand.

I am so not looking forward to this whole potty training process... especially if this is the way things are getting kicked off. I seriously don't know how all my friends have gotten through potty training. They all seem to have been so calm when they went through this whole process and I'm ready to just let Lucas wear diapers until he moves out of the house. This has cured any baby fever I was getting from the 8 friends in my playgroup that are currently pregnant and my 4 other pregnant friends outside the group. I'm off to take my daily birth control pill.

P.S. In case you are wondering Lucas' Buzz Lightyear car is now in the trash. There is no way I was cleaning it off... it was WAY too covered in poop. Plus it is battery operated so it isn't like it can be submerged in water. Oh well I think hearing "Buzz Lightyear to the Rescue" would have gotten REALLY old REALLY quick.

P.P.S. Any potty training suggestions are welcome

P.P.P.S. If anyone wants to "borrow" Lucas and potty train him that is fine with me too... :-)