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Tuesday, November 13, 2012


I know I don't post here anymore. The days just seem to go by too fast and it seems like if I do post anything it is just short status updates or pictures on Facebook. Sometimes though there is no way to say what I want to say in a few short sentences or in a snapshot. Right now is one of those times.

My Facebook feed is full of lists of what my friends are thankful for and what a nice change it is from a few weeks ago (I don't think anyone is missing the election posts.)  It is almost the middle of November and I have yet to post a single "thankful post." It isn't because I can't think of things to be thankful it's because I feel so loved and so thankful I just don't know where to start. I can not even begin to count the times that I have started to write "today I am thankful for...." and just stopped because one or two sentences just can not sum up what I am feeling.

Out of nowhere I started crying in the shower tonight because I was just overwhelmed by all the kindness I have been shown the last few days and just how truly blessed I feel. I realized that I needed to find an emotional outlet and just get out everything I've been feeling and how crazy our life has been lately. Forgive me if this comes out jumbled. I am a bit rusty.

Let's start from the beginning..... In January Curt hurt his back badly at work. He was working on light duty at work until his boss told him they were running out of work for him to do and that he should just go out on workman's comp. He saw a doctor who suggested physical therapy. He had spinal injections. He was released back to work just to see how his back would do. Less than an hour later after his job had his workman comp release papers he was laid off for "lack of work."  We were taken completely off guard.

He filed for unemployment and started looking for a job. In the meantime he decided to go back to school. The first step was getting his GED. (He would be so embarrassed if he knew I was telling people this, but he should be so proud of himself) He spent the last few months going to GED classes.

In the midst of our financial troubles my friend decided to open up a Bakery. She asked me if I would be willing to watch her kids for the summer and in the fall get them back and forth to school. Looking after her kids took some of the financial burden off of us. She opened the bakery and I helped out on opening day. Turns out that I have a real knack with talking to strangers. So suddenly I found myself working a few days at the bakery.

Then there is the job I already have at the airport. My boss asked me to go do training in Houston, Atlanta, and Cleveland. Training is wonderful because I get paid for travel time, the time I am in training, and I'm given money for food. So whenever I train I make more money than if I was here at work. On top of that I get to see some really cool places and meet some really cool people. If my husband was still working I would not have had those opportunities. While I am all over the country he is taking care of things at home. He is doing homework, cooking dinner, and in charge of carpool. On top of all of that he was also going to school himself.

Right now I have one day off a week. I work at the bakery 3 days a week and I work at the airport 3 nights a week. I could not possibly love my jobs anymore than I do. I know I might be more tired these days but I can honestly say when I am at work I am in the moment and I enjoy the people I work with I love what I do.   Right now (with the exception of when I travel) I am able to be home and do homework with my son and we eat dinner as a family. I am thankful to have jobs I love and the flexibility they provide to still be home so much.I'm also thankful that one of those jobs involves having extra kids in our house.

It's no secret that the two plus years have been hard on us fertility wise. We were trying to have another child and it just didn't work out. While I still struggle with all the emotions that go along with infertility I try to look on the bright side. If we had another little one right now it would have made all the financial hardships we've been going through that much harder. So instead of another mouth to feed we have these two "borrowed" children that Lucas gets to play with, share with, and sometimes even fight with just how he would if he was a big brother. A few months back I remember him asking me if his friends were considered family. I asked him what he thought and he said, "well, a kid at school told me friends can't be family but he's wrong. My friends are my family." It is so huge to me that my friend trusts us enough to take care of her kids. I am thankful for the three little faces that I see around my kitchen table every weeknight as I help them do their homework.

Curt ended up passing his GED on the first try. (I knew he would) He applied last week for college and filled out his financial aid paperwork. Right now we are just waiting. His unemployment runs out in a few weeks. When it does I'm not sure what we'll do. We are hoping (and I am praying) that he will get financial aid for school. Then we will be okay. It will keep being tight but we will be okay. Maybe I should be worried but I feel peace.

Anytime I start to worry I read Matthew 6:25-34. It talks about how we shouldn't worry because God always provides. I have been reminded so much of this over the last few months. When Curt had to apply for unemployment you have to wait two weeks before it kicks in and without being asked a family member put money into our bank account to get us by until then. Another family member covered the cost of Curt's GED test. We've have had friends call and invite us over for dinner at the very same moment that we are looking at an almost empty fridge wondering what we'll throw together for dinner to get us by one more night before we have to break down and go to the grocery store. Tonight I even had a friend offer to help me get the one Christmas present Lucas' wants most of all. We never asked for any of the help it just came right as we needed it.

So I'm thankful my husband lost his job. He has never been happier. I'm thankful that money is tight. It's brought us closer together. I'm thankful for friends and family who are always there for us and I could never properly thank you for all you have done for us.

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