Top 10 Reasons Why I am looking forward to no longer being pregnant

Back when I could wear Jeans without elastic and tennis shoes

In honor of only having ten days until I am due I thought I would share what I am most looking forward to about no longer being pregnant. In no particular order:

1. We will save money in toilet paper alone! I didn't realize how many more trips to the bathroom I make now until I was about 2 months pregnant and was buying the amount of toilet paper we used in a month each week.

2. Good-bye elastic! Stretch Jeans mean something entirely different when it comes to maternity jeans! Instead of lycra so jeans "move with you" there are fun things like elastic waists and panels that are made to make you feel like you might as well be wearing a burlap sack.

3. More footwear options! Right now because my feet change sizes several times a day because of the summer heat I can only wear flip flops. So when I leave the house I have to decide "Do the pink ones or the blue ones go better with my maternity clothes?"

4. I no longer have to hear phrases like "You haven't had that baby yet?" or "When are you going to pop that thing out?" I don't mind "Are you ready yet?" as much.

5. Unsolicited pregnancy advice with stop... Wait I guess then the unsolicited parenting advice will start. I'm not sure which one is the lesser evil.

6. I will no longer have to weigh myself every week and put it in writing. I have all these plans on how once the baby comes I will go on these power walks pushing him in the stroller while strangers "oooohhh and ahhh," I'm sure in reality I will be laying in a puddle of drool (mine and Lucas') staring at the ceiling in shock from lack of sleep wondering why they let me bring home this little helpless person.

7. I will have a new excuse to get out of things. "Sorry I can't ______ (let you use me for my car, watch your bad kids, or drive across town because you say you want to visit but you really want me to get cigarettes for you, etc. ), I just got Lucas to sleep." (Which replaces my excuse for everything now, "Sorry I can't, I'm pregnant.")

8. I can't wait to see my parents being Grandparents and Ted and Lisa as Aunt and Uncle. I know my parents have been grandparents for over a decade but it isn't the same. They've always remained "Mom and Dad" to me, now I will have to start referring to them as Grandma and Grandpa (or who knows maybe they will end up being something like PawPaw and MawMaw hee hee). I also can't wait to see Uncle Ted and Aunt Lisa in action or see how Lucas gets along with his cousins Matthew, Shane, and Colby.

9. I finally get to be awake to watch the Tooth Fairy, Santa, and the Easter Bunny stop by and drop off their goodies.

10. The sooner I "pop this thing out" I can start giving other people unsolicited parenting advice and get to freak them out with my labor story!