I didn't update last night because yesterday was a HARD day and all I wanted to do was watch the disk from First Season of Lost that came in the mail from Netflix yesterday, eat dinner, and go to bed.
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Now that I have had a decent nights sleep and have been able to unwind a bit I can get back to posting. Yesterday started by finding out Lucas' insurance will be canceled at the end of the month (yeah that is less then a week away.) So now I have to fill out a bunch of paperwork and hope and pray it all gets fixed. Until it does get fixed Lucas' last day of PT or OT will be Thursday because we can not afford to pay the $2,000 a month that it costs out of our of own pocket. His Occupational therapy appointment went OK except all I could do was think about his insurance. I couldn't go try and get it straightened out since Lori was going out of town for some school thing and I had to stay with my Grandma all day.
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I love my Grandma, but it can be VERY challenging to try and take care of her AND Lucas. Neither of them seems to understand when one of them needs attention. Trying to be in two places at once I think I've gotten a small taste of what it would be like to have two kids. I'm not so sure I'm up for the challenge. I was so frustrated at one point I put Lucas in his playpen screaming, and my Grandma inside asking me over and over "Do you love me? Why are you so mean to me?" (I made her change the channel on the TV with the remote herself instead of me doing it) I went outside to have a few minutes alone while I cried, took a deep breath, and came back inside. When I came back inside my Grandma wanted to know where I had been. I told her I had to roll up my car windows because it looked like rain.
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When I didn't think the day could get much worse (I'm leaving out a bunch of things because then this post would be too long) grumpy little Lucas smacked me in the face for the first time. At first I was shocked and thought he was playing but then he reared his hand back and "smack" again. I held his hands and said "we do NOT hit" of course he burst into tears. I honestly think he was tired and frustrated with not having my full attention. Now of course I have to teach him that hitting is not a proper way to vent frustration.
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A few minutes later he was crawling around in the floor towards something he shouldn't have. I picked him up to take him back to a place he could safely play and SMACK again. I had to hold his hands again while I told him "no" because he was still trying to hit me. Again he started to cry and I took his hands and showed him how to touch nicely. He put his head on my shoulder and cried and I did too. I'm really starting to think Lucas is going through his terrible twos 11 months early!
3 comments:
Kari,
You have my sympathy and understanding. I know how hard it must be for you to take care of your Grandma. Especially with Lucas being at the stage that he is. He doesn't uderstand having to share his mommy with anyone. Just take a deep breath, shed the tears you need to shed and put your head down and bulldoze through the red tape and get your insurance taken care off. You will do what you need to do for your son. That is why you are a great mom.
Love you guys,
Aunt Margie
Kari,
Please never worry about money concerning Lucas care I will take up the slack. Don't miss those appointments. This will allow you to take care of insurance without the pressure of time.As far as Grandma love her, care for her and cry I agree with Margie you are a very special young woman trying to care for both. It can be difficult but, as my mother says God only puts on us what we can handle.Love you much, Mom
Oh, sweetie, that's such a rough day!
I'm sure something will work itself out, and in the meantime you are doing an amazing job, and you just have to remind yourself of that, even though it's gotta be difficult. Lucas is such a loving little guy, and you're such a loving momma, I'm sure the smacking thing will get sorted out quickly.
*hugs!!!*
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