Dear Lucas (10 weeks)

It is crazy to think that about this time last year you were just beginning in my belly. Of course I wouldn't know for another month that my life was about to change. What a difference a year makes.

Today I wanted to throw you out of a window. You were crying and I was tired and to calm you I had to either rock you or hold you sitting up (which aren't the most conducive positions to sleep because if I fall asleep I know my arms will go limp and I will drop you). So I settled for letting you scream while I took a shower with the baby monitor off. I expected you to be sweetly sleeping when I got out of the shower, but nope... You were still screaming. To be fair I know it isn't your fault you don't feel good and to be fair to me I didn't throw you out of the window. (I still don't understand why when your tummy hurts you will grab on to your ears).

Instead we both went outside. I don't know what it is but if you are screaming all I have to do is open the front door and step out onto the porch with you and magically you stop crying. I think you are calm and happy again so I step back inside and there you go crying again. (Even though I was stressed I couldn't keep myself from kissing the top of your little sweet smelling baby head.) So since I was clean I took you outside again and we went to Wal-mart. You didn't even mind that you got raindrops on your face.

Today you are officially wearing size 2 diapers (hence the trip to walmart.) You are too long for your size 1's and if you were to get into what I call your frog position you would have a plumber crack... Which could be VERY dangerous if it happened on one of the days you decided to poop. (Like yesterday when you pooped twice, lucky for both of us you were in an upright position.) Your size two's fit but they look like they are swallowing you. You keep growing longer and aren't getting chunky. (Which is fine with me because your onsies seem to fit longer than they would if you were getting your baby fat.) I'm sure people think you are starving because your ribs poke out sort of.... But those people just have to come home with us and see how much you eat and they will feel sorry for me instead of thinking I am starving you. (When your Dad hands you off to me is now says "There's the Mama, there's the buffet."

The cool thing about you being so small if that I can buy your Christmas presents while you are with me and you won't remember. I got one of them today because it was on clearance. Your aunt Lisa taught me well! If I took after my parents early Christmas shopping would start the week before Christmas (I LOVE YOU GUYS!) and that is just too stressful. We aren't going to go overboard with you on Christmas. Especially since you will be just a few days shy of 6 months and won't really care about what we get for you anyway. When I was pregnant we decided to collect our loose change and use that amount for your Christmas presents.

You are showing your first signs of independence. You are sleeping all by yourself!!! Of course the first night you slept in your bassinet I didn't get much sleep. The first half of the night I spent doing a happy mom dance (seriously) and then the last half I spent laying there listening to every sound you made ready to jump up in case you really woke up upset. I didn't expect you to sleep alone the first night we tried it. You also made your first friend and now you sleep cuddled up with him. I guess we should name him something. Maybe we'll think of something on the long 6 hour or so ride to Helen this weekend.

Today your Aunt Angela called. I miss her. It is funny that we didn't go visit that much because she moved so far away (about 25 minutes) and now she lives across the country. She loves you so much! She called today to ask us to send her more pictures of you. I hope you get to know her and your cousins. You are loved to much on both sides of our families.

I love you too! I am glad that your changing table also seems to magically calm you down. You still love to get dressed there and chew on your "I love daddy" bear while your diaper gets changed. (Unless your tummy is hurting you like it does while you have colic at night) When I went to change your diaper tonight you were crying and I expected you to start screaming since you hate to lay down when your tummy hurts. However, when I set you down on your changing table you stopped and looked up at me and just started to smile and laugh. I just started to bawl. You are a pretty neat kid and I'm glad I didn't throw you out of the window.