Dear Lucas (15 Weeks)

We've made it through 15 weeks! You have changed so much and you keep surprising me every day. It was a year ago this week that we first found out we were going to be bringing home a baby in July. I was in the middle of finishing my last semester of College to get my B.A. and I never could have imagined what life would be like a year later. Your Dad was instantly excited about your impeding arrival. I was a little shocked but also happy. The day I took the pregnancy test I was shaking. I didn't even tell your Dad I was going to take one because I just knew it was negative. Instantly I saw two lines.

My hand was shaking and before I called your Dad (he forgot to turn on his cell phone) I called your Uncle Ted and Aunt Lisa. (They are going to be the first ones to babysit you this weekend also). I was going to wait until your Dad got home to tell him the news but after pacing around the house for about an hour I called Nick the guy he works with and asked to talk to your Dad. It took a few minutes to sink in but soon we were both calling people to let them know. after calling everyone I knew I drove to Old Navy in Bluffton, SC and bought all the baby clothes that were on clearance (of course most of them were pink and as soon as I found out you would be a boy I sold them on eBay) and picked up a few maternity shirts.

A year ago I could have never imagined how hard and rewarding being a mom is. I never imagined how much I would love you or how sweet you smell after a bath. I never imagined how many times a day I would find myself kissing the top of your head or playing with your little feet. I never could have guessed how quick my reflexes to dodge your stream of pee would be or how good I would get at driving with one hand, keeping my eyes on the road, while the other hand is in the back seat finding your pacifier and letting you wrap your hands around my finger to soothe you when you decide that you don't want to be in the car any longer. Each week you learn and grow and I'm there learning right along with you.

This week you started to eat a few spoons of baby cereal at night. Your dad feeds you and I think he really gets a kick out of how much you smile at him while you eat. You are a pretty good eater. Most of the food ends up in your mouth and the food that lands on your bib also finds its way into your belly because you always chew on your bib for dessert.

You stay awake so much now during the day and want to play all the time. You are always laughing and smiling. You also learned how to pull out your pacifier and hold it in your hands. You haven't quite mastered how to put it back in but you sure try. You are taking more notice of Jadie and whenever she is close by you are always gazing at her. You love to go outside and every time we take Jadie out to go to the bathroom you and I will sit on the front steps and just listen to the sounds outside and enjoy the sunshine while Jadie plays in the yard.

For the first time tonight you had a "conversation" with me. I asking if you wanted to take a bath and you smiled and said "ahhh" and then when I smiled you laughed. I kept asking you and got the same response only each time your laugh would come from deeper in your belly.

You are still on your schedule that you just seemed to naturally fall into. It is so nice to know that everyday you will take a nap around 11 AM and one around 3 PM and will be in bed before 9PM. The only trouble you give me is you still won't go to sleep on your own. If I lay you down when you are drowsy and not yet asleep the second I remove my arms from around you then you open your eyes and your lungs wide and refuse to go to sleep. So I have to start all over again by rocking you in your arms until you close your arms and put you back in your crib. The only other time you ever really cry is when your nose is bothering you. Your colic has disappeared (knock on wood).

I finally remembered to take a picture tonight of your little naked butt. I always remembered that I wanted to take a baby butt picture after I got your diaper back on after a bath. Tonight was the first time you were mad to get clothes back on. I think you enjoyed just laying there naked. I learned that when taking baby boy naked butt pictures that you can only take them from certain angles or a little boy part will show. See how much both of us have grown?

I love you so much. I can't wait to see how you will surprise me this next week.