Dear Lucas (20 Weeks),

Has it really been twenty weeks? You are the best baby in the whole wide world! This morning I woke up all on my own. At first it scared me because it was 8:30 AM and we never sleep that late (your choice not mine). I quickly got up to go check on you and there you were just laughing and smiling and playing in your crib with your little blanket person. Not only did I get to wake up on my own but last night you went to sleep at 7:00 instead of 8:00 because you were exhausted... so I was able to zonk out super early! Thanks for the extra sleep! I really needed it since I've been sick and felt crummy the last few days. You made things bearable You were so happy this morning that I was sure that you were drooling liquid sugar. Maybe you take after your Mommy and just need tons of sleep but you have a hard time getting it because you are scared you are going to miss something.

Today was just so awesome. You played on your tummy for 30 minutes without getting tired. You also kept pulling your knees under you and stretching your legs out. I bet you are building up your muscles to crawl. Wow, it is so strange to think that soon you will be able to get around all on your own! I look around our house and I know we aren't prepared. I guess we have to get around to baby proofing sooner rather than later.

When you were tired of being on your tummy instead of screaming for me to pick you up you just flipped over on your back and played there for another good 30 minutes. The whole time I just sat there next to you talking to you and keeping Jadie from giving you a bath. Now you are rolling over on purpose instead of by accident. You've turned into quite the rolly polly. It can be a challenge to change your diaper because you will turn your body away to look at the pattern on the wallpaper or if you hear a sound coming from the next room.

We are both getting the hang of the whole nap thing now and you are taking longer naps. Now I can get things done AND take a nap! You get in a good 2 hour nap at least once a day. Today you started to fall asleep as I was nursing you and Oprah had just come on TV. She was talking about miracle babies and it reminded me of what a miracle you really are. Instead of taking you to your crib to nap I just let you sleep in my arms. I haven't done that in a long time and I forgot how wonderful it feels to have your warmth snuggled in my arms. I would look down at you and you were so peaceful I just kept kissing your little head and pulling you closer to me.

There was a time when I was so scared that I would not be able to have kids. For some reason instead of ovulating like I should my eggs would turn into painful cysts on my ovaries. One of the reasons I was on birth control was to keep things regulated to get rid of the cysts. It really is a miracle that I got pregnant because not only was I on birth control but I also thought I would have trouble getting pregnant. You were not an accident! You are the little boy we didn't know we always wanted.

Sometimes when you are sleeping alone in your crib I feel like my arms ache from not holding you. There have been times when I went into your room because I missed holding you and planned on picking you up just so my arms wouldn't be empty. (I never do though because you are sleeping so peacefully that I don't want to disturb you.) I think this is why I enjoy your nighttime feeding so much. It feels like you and I are the only ones in the whole world awake. You are always half asleep and snuggled close to me. In the day time it just isn't the same. Even if we are the only ones home there is some noise outside or Jadie moving inside that will catch your attention. At night I have your full attention. Your little hands search for mine and they hold on to me. When you are done nursing you have this little dunk old man smile that you only have at night. The walk back to your crib is always slow so I can feel your warmth for that much longer.

Boogs, I love you right up to the moon and back.