Lucas covered in blueberries waving "hi!"
Fresh, Clean, and Covered in Drool
It is getting to be a HUGE pain in the butt changing Lucas' diaper. He doesn't want to be on his back at all!!! The second I lay him down FLIP he's on his tummy trying to eat the bars of his changing table. I think baby wrestling should be an Olympic sport (and if it was I wouldn't qualify!!)
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I've learned that a BIG part of being a mom involves worrying.... Especially about those things that have a 1 in a trillion chance of happening. Becoming a mom makes you an expert risk-assessor like Ben Stiller's character in Along Came Polly (which I am NOT recommending by the way!) It is crazy the amount of time I have spent laying awake because I just knew someone would break in and steal Lucas while I was sleeping (at least I am not the only one with this fear... One day Curt come home from work and found the windows in the living room open and I was using that bathroom while Lucas happily sat in his swing. Curt asked me concerned "what if someone had stolen him?") or there was the "Oh my gosh he must have stopped breathing" fear that appeared the first time he slept through the night. Motherhood has turned me from a rational optimistic person to this crazed mother bear who expects nothing but the worst possible situation.
The first time I really felt a connection to Lucas while I was pregnant was the first time I worried about him. When we first found out that we were going to be parents it was a BIG shock! Curt was instantly excited! I was scared and stressed out because I was right smack in the last semester of my bachelor degree. I was busy trying to decide between Grad school or going to work. My days were spent studying, working in the photography darkroom until the wee hours of the morning, and daydreaming about the brand new cars and house we would buy in the near future. Being pregnant just didn't seem real to me and I wasn't sure that I wanted it to be and I don't want to imply at all that I was considering not having the baby.
Well, at the end of the first trimester one day I noticed that I was bleeding a little. Curt was at work and I wasn't sure what to do. I called my Midwife and she told me to come to the office for an exam to make sure everything was okay. When I got there first they tried to find the heartbeat and couldn't at first. I have never been so scared or prayed so hard in my life. Finally we found the heartbeat and everything ended up being okay. That was the first time I worried about Lucas (we didn't know Lucas was a he yet) and that was when I knew I wanted him.
I'm telling about all of this to preface my newest worry... Flying!!! I have always LOVED to fly and I have flown all over the world (but never as a Mom) Yesterday my Mom and I bought tickets to go to California to visit my Dad's side of the family. In the week we will be there one of my cousins is getting married and one of my cousins is graduating. Also Lucas will get to meet the only set of Great-Grandparents he hasn't met yet. One of the most exciting things is Lucas will get to hang out with his cousin Ben who is only about 2 months younger than him!!! Yes I am excited to go and yes I want to go and obviously I am going (the tickets are paid for) but now I have a whole list of crazy fears to worry about...
- The plane crashing
- Lucas screaming the whole time and people thinking I am a bad mother (normally I don't care what strangers think... But usually you aren't "trapped" with strangers for several hours)
- Being lost in the airport and missing my connecting flight
- Lucas being stolen
- Lucas having a big explosive poop diaper in midflight that goes everywhere and fills the cabin with baby poop stink
- Sitting next to someone who is sick and coughs all over Lucas and gets him sick
I know I could go on and on but I have more important things to do then worry about my trip in June. I found a local Stay at home mom group and tomorrow they are having a park outing. Since I plan on going, I guess I should start worrying about that now...
5 comments:
Kari,
You just reminded this old timer what young motherhood is like. By the time you are getting ready for Lucas' wedding you will understand that no matter what you worry about your kid will turn out just great and the other mothers will like you.....
Can't wait to see you both,
Margie
I am sure the SAHM group will like you. Let your mom take Lucas on the flight, if he fusses (Which he may not) and then you can relax. I'm sure you guys are going to have fun tomorrow and on your trip.
I worry about stupid stuff all the time, and I know it's going to quadrupel once I'm officially a mom. It's starting already, I can feel it - I'm more uptight and I have these weird fears about things going wrong and how I'll do as a mom and everything else, and... yeah... you have just confirmed my fears that this isn't just a "phase" I am going through due to pregnancy hormones lol.
Regardless, you are a wonderful mom and who cares what a bunch of strangers in an airplane think!? Most people are very understanding, and sometimes if you warn the airline ahead of time they will seat you closer to the bathroom or with an empty seat (if they have one) next to you or whatever. You'll do fine because you rule. Period.
Oh... and btw - OMG CUTE PICS! lol
I have flown a lot with Ean and for some reason he always falls asleep during take off and wakes up during landing.
If he does have an exposive diaper there is a changing table thingy in the bathroom. I will write all of my flying advise in an email because I have learned some hints and tips in all that we have done.
Remember we did that SAME flight when Ean was almost the SAME age.
You are right to worry, taking a trip by yourself is nerve racking enough little alone with a baby.
I know I keep thinking "Lindasy did it with Ean at this same age" so I know everything will work out... and I'll be looking for that email :)
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