The last time I mention my boobs... (well at least for a little while)

Today was the first time in over a year that I have not nursed Lucas. Originally I had planned on stopping at exactly a year and then when he started weaning himself to once in the morning and once at night I thought I would continue through the winter. Well in the last few weeks Lucas started sleeping through the night again and only nursing in the morning. Starting last week he started to not want to nurse in the morning either. At first I thought he was teething so I took fenugreek to keep my supply up. I also started nursing him back in the rocking chair in his room with the lights off so he wasn't distracted. He is no longer teething and still refusing to nurse and I spent a few days this last week very FULL so I decided to go ahead and let him stop. I don't want my memory of our last nursing session to be of a screaming angry Lucas and a frustrated stressed out mom.

I feel a rare mix of emotions. In some ways I feel free that I no longer have a baby attached to my breast. Finally my body is completely mine again (well at least I think it is my body. I don't really recognize it since it looks so different from before I got pregnant.) I also feel proud of both of us for making it this long. It was very hard at first and we surpassed a few challenges that could have gotten me to give up a long time ago. Lucas will be 13 months on Sunday so that is a pretty big deal for both of us. However, at the same time I feel sad that he is taking yet another step in leaving babyhood behind.